Effective Networking – Page 3 – Connect With Your Calling

Building Relationships for Networking 101.

July 9, 2014January 3, 2019McRae PattersonLeave a comment

In the beginning stages of any relationship, people are constantly gauging the trustworthiness of the other person by their actions. Once they have built trust and have a good track record than the other person is more likely to take the risk of self-disclosure. Most people are not likely to make themselves vulnerable to others that may use their insecurities against them. When people share personal information with you, it suggests they respect and trust you, a kind of liking that signals your relationship has reached a level of familiarity.

When building a relationship, it’s imperative not to disclose personal information too early before trust and a comfort level is established because it’s likely to scare the other person away. If a person starts discussing what went wrong in their past business relationships in detail during an initial conversation, they’re not likely to get a second opportunity. One sign that the relationship is ready for disclosure is when the other person is sharing personal information with you.

Another way of looking at building networking relationships is to use the metaphor of a bank account. You must first deposit money before you can make a withdrawal of funds. If you attempt to make a withdrawal of an amount higher than what you deposited, you will get a response that notifies you of insufficient funds.
The same is true in relationships; we have an emotional bank account or social currency. If you add positive experiences when the relationship is beginning, you are depositing into the emotional bank account so when you need to ask for something unpleasant, making a withdrawal, the funds are in the account. If you are making more withdrawals (negative experiences) than the amount you deposit (positive experiences) the relationship will go bankrupt (end) because you will be viewed as taking advantage of the relationship.

Strategic Networking: Discovering Points of Connection

July 2, 2014January 3, 2019McRae PattersonLeave a comment

I’m passionate about connecting people with the organization, person or opportunity to better their life in any area, being purposeful putting people together in the area they need. So in order to do this, I need to find points of connection.

I’ve described in previous posts about the people you’re the closest to, your core connections (people you relate with on a deeper level on distinct elements of compatibility). When explaining to people elements of compatibility, a way to simplify it is to say points of connection. Points of connection are areas you have in common with others, the more you have in common especially on what’s most important to you, the likelihood increases of finding a core connection.

For example, people that I’m moderately close with I may share two points of connection, we both belong to the same organization and we live in the same neighborhood. On the other hand, my best friend and I share at least a dozen points of connection and that’s why she’s a core connection. I usually advise people when going to a networking event not to focus on finding people they share many points of connection with but people that have points of connection in the areas that they’re most passionate about. If you can connect with people that are just as passionate about a particular cause as you, then it’s easier to work together to accomplish great things.

I recently did this in the networking group I attend, I Know Somebody Houston. As I talked to different people in the room, I found Vernetta Freeney. She owns a company called Women are Gamechangers where she helps women that may be intimidated to network find mentors or like-minded women that can help them grow their business. During my conversation with her, I geared my questions towards her philosophy on networking to see if we were compatible and her level of passion about networking. We both saw the point of connection and decided to help each other by promoting our services during a Twitter Chat this coming Monday, July 7th at 7:00 pm. Please join us to ask your questions about how to find the connections you need to go to the next level in any area of your life.

Networking is a two-way exchange.

June 26, 2014January 3, 2019McRae PattersonLeave a comment

One of the pitfalls of networking is having the mindset that you’re building relationships so that when you need assistance from your connections, they will help you but this is only one side of the equation. When I had this mindset, I was frustrated because even though I was making an effort to socialize and get to know people when I asked them for their support in small projects, I wasn’t getting their cooperation.

Effective networking is service driven. When you have a something you do well and enjoy doing, find ways you can help others in a selfless way when you’re building connections. This does not mean horse-trading, I’ll do this for you and in return you do this for me. It means, I want to freely serve because I want to invest in you and developing this relationship. When people see your genuine interest in supporting them without a selfish motive, when the time comes, they will want to assist you.

There are two things to keep in mind. First of all, there’s a difference between serving others because you want to and because you feel obligated. It’s easy to fall into a trap of being taken advantage of if you connect with the wrong people. Determine ahead of time does this person have integrity and how much you’re willing to give. Secondly, are you investing in people that have a desire to advance their careers and are passionate about the same things you are, if so it would be easier to work together and be on the same page.

Having an accurate perspective of networking, which includes both sides of the equation, an attitude of investing in others and as a result eventually receiving the returns on my investment as opposed to initially thinking what I can get out of this relationship, you are more likely to connect with the right people that want to help you succeed.

Building your “Dream Team” for success: Finding Core Connections.

June 19, 2014January 3, 2019McRae PattersonLeave a comment

Have you ever wondered why you were once close with certain people that you went to school with or you lived close to then once you graduated or moved away you were no longer close with these people? The reason is because your closeness was based on proximity and once that was removed there was nothing keeping you connected. Then there are people that no matter how far apart you are from them, you maintain a close relationship. These people are your closest relationships because you relate with them on a deeper level, on distinct elements of compatibility. They are your core connections and the support system you need to help you to achieve your goals.

You don’t come across core connections everyday. So how do you improve your probability of developing core connections? It’s not as complicated as you might think, you need to identify the things you’re passionate about at your core. Once you’re putting yourself in environments that relate to your core, you’re already around people that you share an element of compatibility with so the likelihood of cultivating core connections increases. A significant benefit of purposely developing core connections with people in a specific area where you are pursuing a goal is that you can create a “Dream Team” that can work together to help each other reach goals.

When I’ve had to relocate this technique has worked for me. I’ve gotten involved in activities that energized me and I naturally gravitated towards certain people that have supported my efforts and have helped me become successful. You can only be close with a limited amount of people without spreading yourself thin so at any given time you should aim to have three core connections in your local area. Core connections can empower you to go to a higher level in your life, and as I’ve shared earlier, it’s been shown that meaningful connections, people you know on deeper level, boost your emotional health and well being.

Effective Networking: Start local and build.

June 12, 2014January 3, 2019McRae PattersonLeave a comment

When networking, there’s a temptation to shoot for “out of reach” connections. What do I mean by out of reach? People you have never met that are long distance, have some form of national or local notoriety, or know these people. There are cases where this works out but as a general rule, people that you can’t meet in person on occasion, are famous or know famous people are guarded because they’ve had bad experiences with people having ulterior motives and trying to take advantage of their resources.

Before I understood this principle, I used to make this mistake because trying to connect with affluent people is an attractive option. Just meeting one person with significant influence would take away the hard work of building a network, because that one person could potentially transform my life. I had to learn for myself that trying to take this shortcut rarely gets results.

I’ve lived in Houston, TX for seven years and I’ve been steadily developing a network in the specific areas that I will need for this Gift of Connection project which are mental health professionals, media production, and public relations connections. The takeaway is this, put your energy into starting local first then expand as needed. When you are networking during social activities or online, you increase your chances of success when you are forming connections with local people that you have the potential to meet with in person. As I have stated before, creating rapport and trust happens naturally and over time.

Secondly, start building connections in different sectors that you may need. For instance, if you want to start a business, it would be beneficial to start assembling a network with colleagues in your field, legal, financial, marketing, and social media connections before you launch the business. Making the investment to build your network will pay off when your efforts have the necessary support to be successful.

Aligning yourself with the right connections.

June 5, 2014January 3, 2019McRae PattersonLeave a comment

I decided to share a lesson that I learned the hard way. What not to do when networking. When I first began pursuing my passion on my own, after hitting several roadblocks, I realized there are certain goals that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t accomplish by myself. One of the reasons that I put off pursuing certain goals is because I would use the excuse that I didn’t have the right connections. After pushing myself to start networking, I thought it couldn’t be that hard to make the right connections? Right?

I attended networking seminars where I heard the advice to join philanthropic, or special interest organizations with members that have the connections I needed. So I tested this advice and I didn’t quite get the results I was looking for. I have a goal to write a book and to get published by a reputable publisher. I’ve never published a book and I wanted to get some help from an accomplished author. I joined a book club that was led by an author in the area that had written a successful novel. After making an effort for about six months to get to know her during the book club meetings, I asked her to help me with the publishing process. She politely told me that she didn’t have time to advice me and that was the last book club meeting I attended.

I learned some valuable information about networking from this experience. When looking to join an organization, there are several factors you should consider which I will elaborate on further in a future post. But here are two things to consider, are you genuinely passionate about the cause and also does the group have the connections you need. Your main intention should be to participate in the group because the purpose resonates with you, not to meet a specific person. When you align yourself with a cause that’s meaningful to you, the relationships will happen naturally. Follow your intention not a person; the intention brings the right people into your life not vice versa.

Relationships flourish when they are built over time, core connections (people you relate with on a deeper level about a specific passion) don’t usually happen overnight. You typically won’t get the support you need when you try to force the connection like I did with the author. I didn’t join that book club because I enjoyed reading novels; actually I prefer reading books about personal development instead of novels. So when I didn’t get the assistance I needed, there was no motivation for me to keep attending the book club. My intention was wrong, it was about a person and not the purpose of the group. When you put yourself in the best environments for your talents to grow and develop, you have aligned yourself to get discovered by the people that you have built a natural connection with over time.

Why traditional networking doesn’t work.

May 21, 2014July 3, 2014McRae PattersonLeave a comment

For those who consider themselves to be a professional, at some point I’m sure we’ve heard that in order to be successful we need to network and get some connections that will help boost our career. Okay so in today’s world that typically means two things, either start going to events with people in our industry or join Linkedin.

Let’s start with the first option. We decide to attend an event and start conversations with people in the room that we usually don’t know much or anything about. During these conversations, we talk about our work related achievements, how we could possibly help one another and exchange business cards. After the event, we leave with some business cards which seems like a good start. Here’s the rub, most of us don’t follow up by calling the people we talked to and let’s say we do, most likely the other person vaguely remembers us because they met so many people at the event. Generally speaking, most people aren’t willing to help strangers by giving them access to their connections.

Another option is using social media platforms like Linkedin which has proven to be valuable because we’re networking with people in our career field that we already know, who in turn can help us gain access to their connections. For people that are well established in their career this works out pretty well but for those just starting in their careers like recent college graduates, their networks are small and don’t usually generate the connections they need.

What is effective networking? When both parties agree whether it’s in person or online, it would be beneficial to help each other by giving their connections. So instead of joining the traditional networking groups or platforms, there’s a different approach that produces mutual participation.

I joined a networking group called I Know Somebody based in Houston, TX with the purpose of helping their members find the connections they need to get a job, find a reputable service, a mentor, etc. There are people in the group from various professional backgrounds. The premise is if you willingly help others get connections they need in return they will help you.

I recently went to an event and was very impressed with the format of the meeting. There was a speaker that gave relevant information about enhancing your career, then the members individually stood up and gave a brief professional bio and if they had a particular need. When the meeting was over, instead of networking with everyone in the room, I knew the specific people I needed to talk to for my exact need and the assurance that they would be more interested in assisting me. If you don’t have a group similar to this in your area, I highly recommend you pitch this idea to some upwardly bound professionals you know and organize one. This model has proven to be very advantageous to meet the needs of the members that participate.