Author: McRae Patterson

Effective Networking: Start local and build.

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When networking, there’s a temptation to shoot for “out of reach” connections. What do I mean by out of reach? People you have never met that are long distance, have some form of national or local notoriety, or know these people. There are cases where this works out but as a general rule, people that you can’t meet in person on occasion, are famous or know famous people are guarded because they’ve had bad experiences with people having ulterior motives and trying to take advantage of their resources.

Before I understood this principle, I used to make this mistake because trying to connect with affluent people is an attractive option. Just meeting one person with significant influence would take away the hard work of building a network, because that one person could potentially transform my life. I had to learn for myself that trying to take this shortcut rarely gets results.

I’ve lived in Houston, TX for seven years and I’ve been steadily developing a network in the specific areas that I will need for this Gift of Connection project which are mental health professionals, media production, and public relations connections. The takeaway is this, put your energy into starting local first then expand as needed. When you are networking during social activities or online, you increase your chances of success when you are forming connections with local people that you have the potential to meet with in person. As I have stated before, creating rapport and trust happens naturally and over time.

Secondly, start building connections in different sectors that you may need. For instance, if you want to start a business, it would be beneficial to start assembling a network with colleagues in your field, legal, financial, marketing, and social media connections before you launch the business. Making the investment to build your network will pay off when your efforts have the necessary support to be successful.

Aligning yourself with the right connections.

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I decided to share a lesson that I learned the hard way. What not to do when networking. When I first began pursuing my passion on my own, after hitting several roadblocks, I realized there are certain goals that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t accomplish by myself. One of the reasons that I put off pursuing certain goals is because I would use the excuse that I didn’t have the right connections. After pushing myself to start networking, I thought it couldn’t be that hard to make the right connections? Right?

I attended networking seminars where I heard the advice to join philanthropic, or special interest organizations with members that have the connections I needed. So I tested this advice and I didn’t quite get the results I was looking for. I have a goal to write a book and to get published by a reputable publisher. I’ve never published a book and I wanted to get some help from an accomplished author. I joined a book club that was led by an author in the area that had written a successful novel. After making an effort for about six months to get to know her during the book club meetings, I asked her to help me with the publishing process. She politely told me that she didn’t have time to advice me and that was the last book club meeting I attended.

I learned some valuable information about networking from this experience. When looking to join an organization, there are several factors you should consider which I will elaborate on further in a future post. But here are two things to consider, are you genuinely passionate about the cause and also does the group have the connections you need. Your main intention should be to participate in the group because the purpose resonates with you, not to meet a specific person. When you align yourself with a cause that’s meaningful to you, the relationships will happen naturally. Follow your intention not a person; the intention brings the right people into your life not vice versa.

Relationships flourish when they are built over time, core connections (people you relate with on a deeper level about a specific passion) don’t usually happen overnight. You typically won’t get the support you need when you try to force the connection like I did with the author. I didn’t join that book club because I enjoyed reading novels; actually I prefer reading books about personal development instead of novels. So when I didn’t get the assistance I needed, there was no motivation for me to keep attending the book club. My intention was wrong, it was about a person and not the purpose of the group. When you put yourself in the best environments for your talents to grow and develop, you have aligned yourself to get discovered by the people that you have built a natural connection with over time.

Why traditional networking doesn’t work.

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For those who consider themselves to be a professional, at some point I’m sure we’ve heard that in order to be successful we need to network and get some connections that will help boost our career. Okay so in today’s world that typically means two things, either start going to events with people in our industry or join Linkedin.

Let’s start with the first option. We decide to attend an event and start conversations with people in the room that we usually don’t know much or anything about. During these conversations, we talk about our work related achievements, how we could possibly help one another and exchange business cards. After the event, we leave with some business cards which seems like a good start. Here’s the rub, most of us don’t follow up by calling the people we talked to and let’s say we do, most likely the other person vaguely remembers us because they met so many people at the event. Generally speaking, most people aren’t willing to help strangers by giving them access to their connections.

Another option is using social media platforms like Linkedin which has proven to be valuable because we’re networking with people in our career field that we already know, who in turn can help us gain access to their connections. For people that are well established in their career this works out pretty well but for those just starting in their careers like recent college graduates, their networks are small and don’t usually generate the connections they need.

What is effective networking? When both parties agree whether it’s in person or online, it would be beneficial to help each other by giving their connections. So instead of joining the traditional networking groups or platforms, there’s a different approach that produces mutual participation.

I joined a networking group called I Know Somebody based in Houston, TX with the purpose of helping their members find the connections they need to get a job, find a reputable service, a mentor, etc. There are people in the group from various professional backgrounds. The premise is if you willingly help others get connections they need in return they will help you.

I recently went to an event and was very impressed with the format of the meeting. There was a speaker that gave relevant information about enhancing your career, then the members individually stood up and gave a brief professional bio and if they had a particular need. When the meeting was over, instead of networking with everyone in the room, I knew the specific people I needed to talk to for my exact need and the assurance that they would be more interested in assisting me. If you don’t have a group similar to this in your area, I highly recommend you pitch this idea to some upwardly bound professionals you know and organize one. This model has proven to be very advantageous to meet the needs of the members that participate.

Connection is a gift.

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connecting the pieces

When you are first introduced to someone, during that initial conversation you ask them questions about their occupation, where they’re from, what school they attended, social activities, etc. Why do we all do this? We do this to make assessments about their background like their socio-economic status and the type of people they affiliate with regularly. The purpose of collecting this information is to gauge if we have any similar values. We instinctively go through this vetting ritual to determine if we have anything in common with this person, is there a connection between us that can add value to our life.

If there’s a common link that can potentially be meaningful, we will offer that person the opportunity to connect with us further. If there’s no apparent link, we will most likely end the interaction there. Therefore, offering ourselves to connect with another person is a gift that we consciously decide whether to give or withhold.

So what is the Connect with your Calling project about? An article in March 2014 issue of O Magazine by Dr. Sanjay Gupta (http://www.oprah.com/health/Just-Say-Hello-Fight-Loneliness) highlights a study that asserts a person’s quality of life is based on the number of meaningful connections they have with others and at any given time roughly 60 million Americans suffer from loneliness. To advocate for better mental health, O Magazine is promoting purposeful social interactions with the “Just Say Hello Campaign” where people are encouraged to say hello to a person they wouldn’t normally talk to or reconnect with a person they haven’t been in touch with for a while.

I plan to take this campaign one step further, during The Connect with your Calling project, I will intentionally seek to connect people that on the surface wouldn’t have anything in common but can empower each other to reach their full potential. I hope that you will follow this journey with me. It’s my desire that you realize there’s power in connecting that can help you as well as someone else create a more meaningful life.